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Comments

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Not entirely what I meant, but you could try being less punchable.

[airshow]

You could be a little sympathetic. I didn't even do anything!

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You could give me more than non-answers.

[airshow]

Ugh.

Uuuuuuugh.

[ The unmistakable sound of a man rolling over in bed and groaning into his pillow for several drawn-out seconds. ]

... I got Scarecrow-gassed and it hasn't totally worked its way out of my system yet, so hey! I'm all twitchy and paranoid and even worse at sleeping than normal, and did you know that guy's a dick? That guy's a total dick.

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Weren't people offering to help with that?

[He sounds more genuinely concerned than annoying. See, it's not that he's mad that James called him but on the other hand, please don't be a stubborn idiot that doesn't take care of himself, James.]

[airshow]

Yeah, no thanks. The whole magic healing thing gives me the willies. Who knows what else they can do? I don't want anybody... y'know, poking around in my head or whatever.

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Pfft, like there'd be much to find in there.

[This is so awkward because he if he gets too nice and comforting that'll make things weird.]

Is there anything I can do for you?

[airshow]

[ Super weird. On the other hand, James did call just to have someone to talk to. ]

No. Maybe. No. I don't know.

[ He sighs, frustrated with everything, but especially himself. ]

Okay. I'm gonna tell you something really stupid. And it's gonna sound crazy, because it is crazy, and that's why I have to tell you.

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[Oh boy. Time to mentally prepare for whatever fits James' definition of sounding crazy.]

Alright, go for it.

[airshow]

So sometimes I wake up and I forget we're not still doing the friendship bracelet thing, you and me. And I oughta be glad when I realize it's over, but mostly it just kinda freaks me out. Puts me all on edge for a while and I don't know why. I mean, you know I hate being alone anyway, but it's like it got way worse after... y'know. Everything.

So what is that, you think? PTSD or something? Just regular garden variety nuts? Because it's like, kicked up to eleven right now, and if you hang up on me I'm gonna start dialing random numbers just to hear people yell at me for waking them up, I swear, Piper.

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Well, when you spend weeks stuck with someone like that...I don't think that kind of reaction is surprising. I mean, it's not like I haven't had...issues with it, either.

[Where's the line between that making James feel better and making him feel guilty?]

And I could...come over, if you want.

[airshow]

[ He's too surprised to feel guilty or better, really. And here he'd never talked about it because he figured he was some kind of crazy person and Piper got off totally fine. ]

You have? You do? ... You wanna?

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Yeah. To all of that.

[airshow]

[ TRY NOT TO SOUND DESPERATELY LONELY, JAMES, YOU CAN DO IT ]

Okay, fine. I'll put pants on and we can watch late night infomercials.

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Sounds exciting. Be right over, then.

[WELL this isn't how he planned to spend his night, but he wasn't doing much of anything important anyway.]

[airshow]

Swell. Let yourself in.

[ He'll be here, lounging on the couch in his pajamas watching a guy on TV try to sell a blender with artificial intelligence. ]

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[Well, Piper is only slightly better dressed than pajamas when he shows up.]

So, have they convinced you to buy anything yet?

[airshow]

[ It's the middle of the night, and really, he couldn't care less. ]

Almost. Did you know they make musical toasters?

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No, but I'm not surprised. That sounds like exactly the thing you'd want added to your funhouse.

[airshow]

I want three.

[ He's laying sprawled on the couch, but he he scrunches up his stupid gangly too-long legs so Piper has a place to sit. ]

At least.

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[He sits. Please don't kick him.]

I don't think a man that lives by himself needs three toasters.

[airshow]

[ He doesn't kick him, but he does throw his legs over Piper's lap, because he is a deeply obnoxious creature. ]

I think you underestimate my toasting needs.

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[Piper gives him A Look when he does that, but ultimately ignores it.]

See, I'm sure that's how the people selling these things want you to think of them.

[airshow]

Are you suggesting I might be being swayed by clever marketing?

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It'd be pretty funny if you were.

[Mr. CON MAN.]