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[countdone]

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[airshow]

Wait, what?

[ Well that's not even a little bit what he expected. Damn it, Piper, always throwing him for a loop. He's supposed to be good at predicting people! ]

[countdone]

After you died. I had to drag your body around for awhile, and...yeah.

[airshow]

[ He sits bolt upright at that, and it's a real struggle not to throw the remote at Piper's stupid ginger head. ]

"And yeah"? What the hell, Piper, you can't just "and yeah" that kind of thing like it's something anyone's got any kind of frame of reference for!

[countdone]

Well I already said I was hallucinating, didn't I? So...the corpse started talking.

[This is difficult okay James.]

[airshow]

[ This IS difficult. Especially since it was his corpse. And that still freaks him out. And that's not exactly helping his "worrying about Piper" problem. And they're having this conversation with James using him as a footrest. ]

Okay. All right. That counts as issues, too, I guess.

[ awk. ward. ]

What'd I... uh. It. Say?

[countdone]

It uh...insulted me? Occasionally gave advice.

[This is not what he came here for.]

[airshow]

[ Honestly, what the hell do you say to this? ]

Well, at least I left a helpful corpse.

[ Not that, probably. ]

[countdone]

Yeah, so...there it is. And I mean it's obviously kind of weird to be used to having someone stuck to you 24/7 and then just be...alone.

[airshow]

[ Well, damn it, now Piper's said something so he has to, since he's trying to be sort of kind of fair and all. God, does talking about it ever actually help, or is it always this weird? ]

... Yeah. It's way too quiet, right?

[countdone]

Yeah. And you know me, I've never liked quiet to begin with.

[airshow]

Hey, same. Why do you think I like the sound of my own voice so much?

[countdone]

Oh, it's not because you're a narcissist?

[airshow]

Aren't we all, just a little?

[countdone]

And some of us are more than a little.

[airshow]

So I have a healthy appreciation for myself. Point is, yeah, I get it. Silence is the worst. So your mind started filling in the gaps for you or whatever. It's maybe not the sanest coping method, but it's something, I guess.

[ SOMETHING PRETTY NUTS. ]

... so, wait, how long did you, y'know, haul me around?

[countdone]

You know, I'm supposed to be here for you.

[Can't blame a guy for trying, right?]

Days. I mean, I was still handcuffed to you, remember?

[airshow]

Yeah, and you never told me a damn thing, so we're getting even or whatever.

[ And he's really getting the feeling that he doesn't want to know, but like a cat getting itself stuck up a tree, he keeps on asking. ]

So how'd you... you know.

[countdone]

You...probably don't want to hear that part.

[That just makes people want to know more, though.]

[airshow]

Hey! It's my corpse we're talking about here!

[countdone]

[He should not be saying this while chilling out on the couch with him. And yet, here he is.]

Alright, alright. "You" convinced me to...get rid of some of the dead weight. Or, most of it, really.

[airshow]

You mean...

[ Yeah, okay, screw poker face. He grimaces, going a little pale and making a chopping motion with his right hand against the wrist of his left. ]

Eew.

[countdone]

Yeah, eww, how do you think it felt doing it?!

[You're not helping James!!!]

[airshow]

Well, yeah, but still!

[ IS HE EVER HELPING? ]

Jeez, that's— I mean, you totally made the right call, and you probably should've done it way sooner, 'cause, what, did you think I was coming back or something? But still, yeah, very much eeewww.

[countdone]

I guess I was just...putting it off? I mean, I obviously didn't want to do that.

[Uggggh. This night sucks.]

You know what else? I talked to it. It didn't talk back, but I kept talking to the hand anyway.

[airshow]

[ This is a terrible conversation. Just awful. Possibly the goddamn worst. And now he's rubbing his wrist, where there's still a scar from the cuff but at least not a scar from that, thank god. ]

Probably better company than I was, then.