ic contact post

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Comments

call. out of the blue. IT BEGINS.

[airshow]

So hey, what are your thoughts on lasagna? Generally speaking.

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...I like it? Why?

[He's long since learned to be suspicious of anything James mentions at random.]

[airshow]

I'm conducting a random telephone survey.

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Please tell me that's just a smartass way of saying you're bored.

[airshow]

I don't have a punchline in mind here, if that's what you're asking.

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[That's because James is the punchline OHHHHHHHHHHHH]

Is there anything else you want now that you know my feelings on lasagna?

[airshow]

[ W O W ]

I want you to have dinner with me sometime. [ WAIT, THAT SOUNDS KINDA LIKE— ] Because you could stand to gain, I dunno, ten, fifteen pounds. [ yeah, better ] I mean, in case you didn't notice, you kinda look like hell. [ there we go, nailed it ]

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Gee, thanks.

[He takes a second to "think it over." He's still a little suspicious and definitely a little surprised at the offer. Seems like James really is lonely, regardless.]

I guess we could do that. As long as you don't have anything funny planned.

[airshow]

[ He's not lonely! He's concerned! Wait, does lonely sound less lame than concerned? ]

If I had something funny planned, would I tell you about it?

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No, of course you wouldn't.

I guess saying that felt like a formality.

[airshow]

And here I am trying to be so nice.

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Which is extremely out of character for you.

[airshow]

Downright suspicious, I'd say.

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And here I am, almost falling for it.

[airshow]

Only almost?

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Better than just getting shut down completely, isn't it?

[airshow]

Would you do that? And hurt my delicate feelings?

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You'd whine a lot if I did.

It'd get annoying.

[airshow]

That's true. I'm really, really good at whining.

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Yeah, I'm definitely more familiar with that talent than I'd like to be.

[airshow]

Aww, buddy, you think I'm talented?

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Don't let it go to your head. Though it probably has already.

[airshow]

Not like I needed the help, but I appreciate it regardless. Anyway, how convinced are you here? I mean, about the dinner thing. 25%? 50%? Still dubious? I'm an extremely adequate cook! And I'm pretty sure you can't make anything more complicated than a Hot Pocket.

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If I can figure out how to build a flute that hypnotizes people and...god, pretty much all of the tech stuff I had to do for Wally, I can figure out cooking. Probably.

[Which means, yes, he cannot make much of anything more complicated than a Hot Pocket. But he totally could if he wanted to. Totally.]

I'm...convinced enough, I guess.

[airshow]

That's definitely not even in the same ballpark, but sure, whatever, you keep telling yourself that.

Are you always this wary when people offer you free dinner?