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Shut up and get your ass over here.

[airshow]

See ya soon.

[ And about ten minutes later, James comes strolling in like he owns the place. Doesn't even bother to knock. What a jackass. ]

Luuuucy, I'm hoooome!

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[Well, unfortunately for him...when he barges in, there's no sign of Piper, at first.

There is, however, a swarm of rats appearing to greet him.]

[airshow]

[ And James lets out a very girlish yelp and backs up against the door. This is the worst welcoming committee! ]

Uh, Piper? Pipes? Pipey? Oh crap. Nice rats, please don't eat my toes, I need those...

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[Alright, he's coming out of his hiding place. Not doing anything about the rats just yet, though. THEY'RE GIVING HIM A FRIENDLY GREETING ANYWAY, IT'S FINE.]

Do you have a problem with the welcoming committee?

[airshow]

I might have a small issue with herds of rats, yeah. Just a teeny one. Just, like, residual from that time about twenty thousand of them jumped me in my office, maybe?

[ It's like he's trying to become one with the door here. ]

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Fine, fine. Alright, guys, leave him alone.

[And just like that they all start retreating.]

You're the one that brought up boobytraps.

[airshow]

I said boobytraps, not rat traps.

[ He steps forward. Well... tiptoes forward. Very gingerly. Like a big wuss. ]

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Best I could do on short notice.

[airshow]

I suppose I should thank you for putting out the effort for little old me.

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What are friends for?

[airshow]

I'm sure I have no idea.

[ But whatever, his obnoxious grin is back. ]

So whatcha workin' on, anyway? Something cool? A sousaphone that lets you communicate with giraffes? Didgeridoo that makes someone relive their childhood? Setting up the DVR?

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Nothing worth showing off, just tweaking some things.

[And he knows better than to think he's going to get anything done with James here, so that's on hold for now.]

[airshow]

Booooriiiiing. See, this is why I like visiting Harley. Because I get fun things, like margaritas, or laid, or candy. You could learn a thing or two about entertaining guests.

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[James gets a questioning look at first, but then...]

Harley lives here. There's plenty of candy.

[airshow]

Missing the point, Pipes.

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It's not my fault that you keep willingly hanging out with someone "boring."

[airshow]

Aw, c'mon, it's not like that. You're not boring, you just act boring. You're cool and fun when you're not playing the responsible adult game.

[ And he's gonna make his way over to the fridge and go through it like the worst houseguest. ]

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I wouldn't have to play the responsible adult game if you didn't need constant babysitting.

[Piper doesn't even care. He expects that kind of behavior.]

[airshow]

[ whatever whatever he's stealing a coke ]

I'm unsupervised most of the time. C'mon, let yourself live.

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[He just sits down on the couch with a "hmpth" and an eyeroll.]

[airshow]

You're gonna get wrinkles if you keep frowning all the time.

[ He follows Piper into the living room and deposits a second Coke in his lap, then hops over the arm of the couch to join him. ]

But sure, I'll play along. How would you prefer I act? What's your vision of a mature and responsible Trickster?

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Oh, no, we're not going there.

[Then he might actually get tricked into admitting he finds certain annoying traits endearing.]

[airshow]

No, no, if you're complaining, you'd better suggest an alternative. Imagine meeee, but even more perfect. What's it like?

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[Okay fine time to be a jerk.]

Quieter.